Thursday, September 6, 2012

Here we go again: a recap of the last three months

My gosh it's been some time since I've been on this thing. OK so since my last post I've had another sweet little baby and she is such a joy! I love her to pieces- she is truly precious and such a good baby. Really I'm not exaggerating. And praise God I even had my natural delivery. I will post a copy of my vbac success story after I write this for those interested. It was such an emotional journey and I fought tooth and nail to get things right with the help of an excellent home birth midwife. But anyway, I don't want to spend a ton of time going into all that. For now I will discuss what has happened to me post partum since that is also when all my mysterious maladies started with my DS. About three months almost to the day from having both my second and now third child, my body started acting up. Ugh. So here's the scoop....

It all began when I got these shooting pains through my breasts between nursings. It felt like a horrible sharp needle going through my chest on both sides. I went to my midwives at the hospital, the ones who delivered my baby girl, and they took a sample of my breast milk to check for yeast, but it all came back normal. However, the pain continued. No one knew what it was and said I had to keep wearing supportive bras. And I was! So no answers there to this day. Then at the beginning of August I got this  terrible rash all over my back, chest, armpits, groin and shoulders. It was a red, blistery like rash that first started under my breast when I started exercising more. I love Spotify and listen to it to get me in the mood to dance this baby fat off. Well, after dancing for a bit and doing my rather intense pilates, I saw this rash and I figured it was heat related, but when it spread all over my torso and got very itchy I started to wonder. I called my home birth  mw and asked her for advice and she said to put corn starch on it (talc powder is bad if inhaled) which I did and that helped for a brief space of time, and then it started to get itchy again. After days of no success ridding it, I went to the Medexpress and they said it was contact dermatitis. What the heck! She said that I was exposed to something new in my environment causing it, even though there was nothing new that I was aware of. She prescribed a steroid/nystatin cream to put on it. I applied it for about 5 days and no more since she said not to let it get in my system given I was nursing. And hurrah, lo and behold, it did go away! I diagnosed it as a yeast infection since that is what it compared to most with the pictures I saw on line, even though she said otherwise. Honestly, what else would spread like that, if not yeast? Oh, it's funny the things I spend my time looking at these days- things I never would have dreamed of when I was young, but then again,  never did I expect my body would have some many damn issues. Anyhow I digress.  So I was good to go with the rash soon disappearing. There was some emotional stuff going on at the time so it's possible that might have rocked my immune system, much like what happened in August 2010. It's my theory, and I think my midwife would agree, that the psyche greatly impacts the body so if I the former is off, the latter will be too.

Moving on then. So the rash came and went. Things were good again, so I thought. A few days after it left me, I started getting nauseous and actually threw up about four times. Where in the world that came from I have no idea. No one was sick so it wasn't viral and I didn't think I was prego so big puzzle there. But then I woke up one morning to this horrible case of vertigo and dizziness (yes, I know they are different and I did have both). When I would walk forward the room would go up and down as though I were walking on water. Then this sense of buzzing in my head came and would not leave me, which was accompanied by throbbing headaches on the sides of my head, near the temples.  I felt like screaming! But I couldn't because I was trying so hard to maintain a sense of peace and order with the children even though inside I was falling apart. I just wanted to yell, "Why am I getting all these weird symptoms so freaking much?!:" I took it easy all day taking care of the three kiddies. Later that day, believe it or not, I got yet another symptom. This time it was tingling feet, legs, arms and hands. It felt like a cold sensation in those areas, though mostly just on my right side, with a numbness similar to what you'd feel when you're body is "falling asleep". While not crippling it was concerning.  The extreme sense of moving up and down as I walked ceased, however I didn't want to ignore what was happening to me so I called my awesome new chiropractor to make an app. He adjusted me and said that my left cortex was weak and recommended I stimulate it my tapping my right side's feet and fingers, smell perfume in my left nostril, and put a vibrator on my right foot and hand to stimulate the nerve endings so to wake up the left side of the brain.  He also said I needed to do cross word puzzles or other mind stimulating games. That wasn't quite what I was expecting him to tell me, however, I tried it and it did little to help.

Then when I am really desperate, where do I turn for help? Facebook and that's what I did.

There is a priest friend of my husbands who also had a lot of mysterious health issues and thought it might be good to touch base with him. (Plus, I could always use the extra prayers even should he not know how to help me.) I found out that he was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and suffered a lot after experiencing a lot of stress. Well, then, it became clear to me that indeed, stress was most likely the source of all this crap. But given I couldn't rid myself of my responsibilities what was I to do? God has given me three children to care for and a husband who I don't always understand, so what was I to do to change my circumstances? Nothing. All I can do is hold on for dear life and pray that I survive.

Now if I  may deviate for a moment:

As I sit hear, I'm listening to Josh Groban's "You are loved" and I remember the first time I heard it- I was a college student at Dayton and we had just entered into the Lenten season. This song made me cry. All I could think of was Christ speaking to me and telling me how He loves me and wants to help me. How ironic that it plays as I write this post. I know I voice my complaints a lot on here because, well, I need a healthy place to do that, but in my heart I know that God is aware of everything I am suffering and is there wanting and waiting to strengthen me. I am not so despondent as to forget that there is happiness after all of this should I suffer this like a good servant. It's just that I wonder if I am not suffering this to help someone else who is struggling to make sense of their singularly bizarre health issues. I don't know, but regardless I need this outlet to express what I'm going through so that I don't lose my mind because some days I worry.

OK deviation over. Back to my original rant.

Alright, so after posting a status about my health how stress can kill I got an interesting reply from the wife of a friend of mine, who also had some post-partum quirkiness  (depression, numbness, weight gain) and advised I look into the paleo diet plan. At first I was skeptical since I was on the candida diet which was next to impossible, and felt like this was not for me, but when I read that they allow you to eat fruit, I was much more open to the idea. Basically, the paleo diet comes from the idea that if we eat like out paleozoic ancestors, our bodies will perform optimally since those foods are what our bodies are made to consume and not any of the processed, or genetically/mechanically modified foods. Whatever. I heard that breastfeeding moms were trying it and having good results so it was safe for me and I thought to give it a go. Well, I am now 5 days strong and I have to say, it has helped! My vertigo is gone, the headaches, the nausea are all gone! The one thing that has yet to go is the tingling hands and feet, but I'm working on that.

I made an appointment to see a local alternative medicine doctor who was offering free consults and he said that all my issues could be pointed back to my pancreas. Given my Dad has type 2 Diabetes I wanted to be sure that there wasn't some of that hitting me. The next day I called my PCP and asked to have a script sent to Quest to have a CBC and Thyroid test done to see if everything was ok. As was expected, all was good. So per the advice of my Mom, I had an appointment with a local endocrinologist to see if she thought I was having early signs of diabetes. That was yesterday, and the doc said she didn't think it likely, but drew some blood to be sure. Tomorrow I go to see a rheumatologist to check for anything autoimmune related. Please God this is just a passing thing and I'll be back to normal soon enough. God's will be done. More importantly, I have to work on bringing balance into my life. Like Mr. Miagi says, "Got to learn balance. Balance is key.  Balance is good..."While I'm no Buddhist, I do think there is something right in that. It's when my life is out of balance that all else goes to pot. So Mr. Miagi, following your advice, here's my next step, take karate!  ;-) Well, not really, just aerobic dance and start getting back to doing the things I love. Being a mom doesn't mean not being me, just being a better me for those I love, but that means making sure I have time for myself too. So we'll see how things go next week. So for now, ciao!

PS- Please feel free to post your own experiences on here. I would love to share notes!

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