Lyme and the Coconut

So I got my lab results back from the endocryn and rheumatologist and we found some interesting info.For starters I'll mention that I do not have diabetes (we think), which is good, however I did have low iron and was borderline high on my hemoglobin level. Not sure what that means and not completely confident in the results given I never fasted before having the blood drawn, which is rather critical when trying to diagnose diabetes. I was fine with the results overall, and am trying to up my iron by eating more spinach, red meat, and nuts. I called my mom, who is a nurse, and asked if she thought the tingly hands and feet could be due to the low iron count and she said maybe, but not likely. So still not sure what to do about that since the tingling remains despite eating high iron foods.
Ok, so the rhumatologist did extensive blood work and most everything came back normal, except for the one that tested for Lyme disease. That was 1.29 when the normal range was less than.90. There was a second series of tests they performed to examine whether that first Lyme test was accurate, something called the western blot blood test. Those all came back normal, but after reading a lot about Lyme, it sounds like there is still more bloodwork to be done before ruling it out. The latter test was only one of many types to see if it's in you. I don't know how I could have it come up positive on one test and be told I don't have it despite what the western blot showed. It's ironic that it came back positive because my spiritual director advised I be tested for Lyme since people out where he lives had similar symptoms and were found to have Lyme as well, but often when I would bring it up to doctors they said it didn't need to be since it was not likely.

Anyhow, I am waiting to talk to the doctor on Monday since I only read those results through my medical account profile and have no idea what the doctor wants to do with me. We are hoping that he digs deeper with this.I mean,  I went to the better specialists in the area for this so they would do more than just take blood and tell me everything is fine.

It should be noted that the one thing that did actually help lessen the tingling sensation was coconut oil. Perhaps I need the fat to help my body absorb nutrients better or just oil up my system to help it perform more efficiently, I don't know, but it's something I need to look into further.

Last Thursday I began my aerobic dance and absolutely loved it. It took some getting used to following a routine again, but once I got the hang of it, I was in my element. Needless to say the hour flew by and I didn't want it to end. The class is attended by mostly 55+ women, but I like it that way. Makes me feel less insecure when I miss a step or do something stupid- it's great fun. Plus after the week I had last week I needed something leisurely for me to get my stress out.

The kids, but my baby esp, were so difficult last week and I don't know why. My baby was crying hysterically and nothing I did helped her. My kids would not listen to me at all and they were making messes everywhere I turned. It was horrible. Plus, someone I know misread a comment I made about them, thus spawning a lot of unnecessary emails which caused an emotional breakdown on my part. My good husband came home early that day to give me a break after hearing everything I was dealing with.  That day I broke my diet and ate a burrito bowl my hubby brought home for me. I didn't care anymore- I needed a break.

Yesterday, my husband and I went out for a date, which we hadn't done in months, and told him we need to do it more often since by not taking that time together, we've only grown further apart.  So in our attempt to remedy this problem, we decided to go mini-golfing, and let me tell you, it was a lot of fun! Growing up near the shore, my brother worked on the boardwalk at a mini-golf course called Putt-Around and we'd often go there often to play for free. It had to have been 20 years since I last played, but you know, I wasn't too bad at it. We even tied at  a score of 61, though neither of us made par :) We laughed and had a good time talking about our childhoods. Given it was cool outside, and we're all fighting colds, we wanted to get a warm drink at our local coffee house. I rarely go to coffee houses anymore, but was excited to get a drink outside of the house for a change and opted for a decaf vanilla bean latte. It tasted delish, and I started to wonder if it didn't have sugar in it being it was so yummy. We sat there playing checkers, which my husband totally kicked my butt in, and then chatted for awhile, when I noticed this terrible headache set in. It was throbbing and I told him we had to go since it was bothering me so much. I have no idea why that happened and I'm wondering if I'm not super sensitive to sugar now that I'm on this diet, which I should mention I have not been 100% faithful to, more like 97%. It's still with me today, but it might be due to the fact that my kids are all sick with head colds and we've been up a lot in the night trying to take of them. Dunno, but either way I still have it and am praying I can make it through this week since hubby is going out of town for four days and will have my mom here to help me. And though that'll be better than being alone, it still means I have to do a lot on my own since she's not used to our routine. So say a pyayer things get better and also one for my mom who was recently diagnosed with bone cancer. I'll tell ya, it's always something. God be with us.  More to come once I speak to my doc tomorrow.

The Paleo Thang

So I was asked to talk about the Paleo diet that I'm following. Like I said, it was given to me through a friend who said it helped her with her post-partum health issues so I thought I'd give it a go. I started a little less than two weeks ago and am getting by ok. The diet includes eating only lean meat, fruit, veggies, nuts and seeds. I should mention that it was suggested I change my diet per the advice of that alternative doc I had a consult with two weeks ago. He worked in correcting many people's issues from insomnia to cancer, to candida, to fibromyalgia, to pretty much everything, all through adjusting people's diets. He would do this through testing your bodies sensitivities using something called EAV Testing. Taken from his blog he states:


EAV Testing indirectly measures the "Energetic System" of the body. It does not measure the physiology, the biochemistry, or the pathology components of the human body. However, the “Energetic System” is related to these components, from the standpoint of quantum physics, and can help identify imbalances and guide therapy to restore balance.

It's all very strange stuff and costs about $360 to have done (he doesn't take insurance) so I figured try some of this stuff on my own before dropping a load to find out something that I could discern on my own through trial and error. Providentially, that was right before I was introduced to the Paloe diet and saw it as God's hand guiding me toward an answer to some of these previously mentioned symptoms.

Alright so how am I doing with it? Well, this friend, K, sent me a copy of a Paleo diet cookbook that supplied me with easy recipes for foods that were safe as well as providing a checklist of "yes and no" foods to eat. Now with this "yes and no list" I have some issues. See, there are a lot of opinions out there as to what is and is not acceptable on this diet. Some people say no to all dairy, while other say it's fine. Some people say no to all starches, including sweet potatoes, while other praise them and encourage you to consume as many as you want of them. It frustrating because I'm not used to dieting, let alone following one where there are conflicting opinions about what one should eat, so as a result I am left to decide what to do for myself. And I, being the potentially extreme person that I am (of the choleric/melancholic temperament), tend to lean on the conservative side and cut out everything that's questionable. So I attempted to go with the absolute minimum for about three days, and found that I was doing great; my mood was better, I noted an increase in energy, and a number of my symptoms disappeared! The only symptom that remained was the tingling in my hands and feet.

The realization that this diet was seemingly correcting my health problems was so encouraging that I couldn't help but feel motivated to continue it. I mean, when you see such obvious changes in an incredibly short period of time it definitely tells you that something is working and you would be a fool not to continue with it. This was such an answer to prayer! There did come a problem after about day three when my appetite picked up. I should mention that I went home to Jersey to see my family to celebrate my mom's birthday, which meant lots of great Italian food and desserts, and was tempted to cheat and eat what I shouldn't given I was outside of my environment.  Knowing that I would crash and burn if I didn't increase my eating options, I loosened the fast and allowed dairy back into my diet. (I couldn't not try the eggplant rolatini and chicken marsala at her party- yum! :) With dairy back on my plate, it opened the door to a few more foods and eased my hunger a bit. Interestingly, I did observe that my eczema returned after I ate the dairy. Yes, I have that too. It's something I've had for years and from what I can tell is an a type of allergic reaction, which I did not know until after being on this diet. So good to know, but it still  didn't stop me from eating the dairy while out of town. Before we left to return home, I made a stop at a great produce market called Verchios and picked up a ton of fruit and veggies- the sell the cheapest produce you'll find anywhere. If you're ever driving through South Jersey be sure and stop by this place- you won't be disappointed!

After we returned home, I did go back to cutting out the dairy since I realized that not only was it causing my eczema to flare up, it also wasn't good for my trying to lose baby fat, which I should add is slowly going away :)

So let me go over the specifics of what it is I am eating these days. on my plate I have grilled chicken, eggs, steak, apples, bananas, peaches, strawberries, cashews, coconut milk, almond milk, almond butter, chicken soup, stuffed cabbage w/out rice, salmon, cod, shrimp, zucchini, carrots, sweet potatoes (yes, I had to eat them since I was starving without the starch in my diet), salad, hamburgers, tomato salad, you get the idea. What am I not eating? Any breads, sweets save fruit, rice, beans, corn, dairy (well maybe I cheat sometimes, but not too much). It's amazing that I am doing this and I pray that I can continue it and don't get lazy and start adding things I shouldn't. I will have a little ice cream of something like that if I'm at a party just to be social, but otherwise it's all hands off for me.

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to veer off topic for a moment.

It's been a good thing going without carbs because not only is it good for my body, but it's a good penance for my soul. I find that the discipline of not eating what I want all the time is helping me build what people used to call "character", aka virtue. Since I've been on this diet I have noticed I'm not as short tempered or as depressed as I used to be.

It would be a lie for me to say that I don't suffer from depression because I do and have had some really bad moments when I've just wanted to die. Yes, I admit it. Many doctors have advised I take an anti-depressant to treat it and honestly I tried it for about a month, but found that the side effects from trying to get off it made all my depression symptoms worse. After that, I was determined never to go back on them again, especially if it meant I could never live independent of a drug. Plus, I read that the risk of having fertility problems increased so I said forget it. God has blessed me with wonderful fertility and I am not about to take any chances losing that by taking some medication. And besides, there are other methods to helping oneself, like exercising, Paleo dieting or simply getting out and being around  people again. Nothing beats being around good friends and people who you know love you. It makes life feel so much more worth living.  Yet sadly, that's something I don't have much of where I live. Having the little ones so close together has forced me to stay home nearly all the time so I don't have the opportunity to get out and meet other moms. This seclusion gets hard on all of us.
In an attempt to help this problem, my husband kindly encouraged me to get out and take evening classes. So taking his advice, I signed up for an aerobic dance and ballet class with my daughter.

Dancing is one thing in my life that always takes me out of myself. Most, if not all, people are shocked when they see me in my element on the dance floor. See, I come off as a very reserved person, but once the music starts, it's as though someone else comes out of me and I feel so free from everything that usually holds me back. There is no way I can explain why it happens, it just does and I love it! From what I am told, I'm a pretty good dancer as well (I confess I do have a history in musical theater and dance) so I'm making a complete fool of myself while letting it all hang loose :)

Aside from the dancing, I will also be attending an evening of recollection once a month at a local oratory to help me grow in my spiritual life. I can't ignore my spiritual needs in all of this, right? Perhaps through this I will meet other people whom I can share a deeper friendship with. Time will tell.

So maybe between this diet, doing the dance classes, and growing spiritually things will get better for me. Hey, maybe I'll even have to change the title of this blog to something more blithesome. Anything is possible :)

Well need to sign off for now. Hope to find out what my blood results showed early this week. Have confidence all will be fine, but will let you know. Till then. Later.

VBA2C Success story

For those who don't know where it all began, I'll start with my first pregnancy. August 2008  I got pregnant with my DD and worked with the MC to attempt a natural delivery. The entire pregnancy was full of complications, which I won't go into,  but it came down to me going 41 weeks when they eventually diagnosed me as having preclampsia and offered a c-section or induced labor. No labor signs had come up to that point so I elected for the routine section given my daughter didn't seem ready to come out anyway. Recovery was very hard, but I got by.

Three months post partum I discovered that I was pregnant again and, needless to say, shocked, but learned about vbacs and found a practice that supported my desire to attempt one.  This pregnancy went fine,  except for the fact that it was full of stress having to move, take care of my DD, and mentally and physically prepare to have another child within a year. I tried everything to go into labor naturally using the advice of a wonderful doula I was working with, but wound up going 42 weeks and a day without any signs of labor. After getting an ultrasound, they found that my amniotic fluids were dropping and urged that I get my son out asap. With much remorse, I consented to have a repeat section given I really had no choice; obviously, I wanted my son to come out alive. While they were performing the operation, they discovered that the lining of my uterus was so thin they could see my son  through it (aka dehiscence)  and said it was good that I didn't labor since I would have ruptured. The recovery was very rough and throughout the following year had numerous health issues, which I attribute to having two surgeries so close together.

Fast forward to August 2011. I got pregnant again. Returned to my former obgyn practice only to be told that they were not very supportive of me attempting a vba2c. I went looking at other practices only to be told repeatedly that they would not allow me to vba2c since it was too dangerous and I could rupture. Desperate, I contacted the Doulas of ** in January seeking advice about alternative options for bringing this baby into the world. Was home birth something I could consider? Maybe. So I asked about working with a lay midwife who could give me tips for having a natural delivery. I got the name of a woman and we spoke at length about my past pregnancies to which she said she thought she could help me. The Doula's also gave me the name of a Dr. K at M Hospital who was very pro vbac and recommended I speak with him to seek his council.

I made an appointment with Kaminski and after having looked at my post op records, said that he felt I could attempt a vba2c but only because I was double sutured (they sewed my uterine wall twice to make it extra secure). He said I had a 7 out of 10 chance of having a natural delivery, but that the damage that could result if I did rupture would be bad. I decided it was worth the risk, and upon his suggestion, worked with the Midwives at M for my prenatal care, while simultaneously using the lay midwife for the bulk of my prenatal needs. The lay midwife came to my house and spent many hours talking to me about things that were issues from my past as well as problems in the present. She said I had a lot to work through mentally if I was going to have a natural delivery as that, along with hormonal imbalances, was preventing labor. I also went to seek medical help from a chiropractor who worked on correcting my imbalances, which helped me tremendously.

After months of emotional healing, reading an awesome book and getting alternative health treatments,  I really started to believe it could be possible to vba2c, that is, until I had a follow up with Dr. K at my 39 week checkup. He told me that the midwives were divided about my being able to labor and were not all supportive of me going forward with it due to my dehiscence. They didn't know what would happen under my circumstances since so few women have ever attempted a vba2c knowing they also having a window in their uterine wall. I was their guinea pig, so to speak, and they were going to watch me very closely as this was a birth that they would be talking about a lot in the future, whichever way it goes.  I couldn't believe he was telling me this after working with them for months. I felt like they pulled the rug right out from under me. I was so sick of people telling me I was high risk!  Bottom line, he wanted me to know that if something should go wrong, that they weren't to blame.  It was such a blow to my confidence that I felt like I was all alone and fell back into worry. I called my lay midwife and explained all this, only to get an amazing pep talk that filled me once again with the peace of mind knowing that whatever happens will be ok, but that there is more chance of success than failure, esp if I believe it.

A few more weeks came and went until it was my due date May 20th. However, there were no signs of labor and again, I started to worry. Was all this preparation for vbac in vain? Would my body fail me again? Would people tell me I told you so? Would I survive a natural delivery?The thoughts that went through my head were hard. It was the toughest time in my pregnancy. Days went by and still nothing but the usual stretching, until on May 27th I got my first contraction! It was the most wonderful feeling in the world and I couldn't believe my body was actually doing what it was supposed to. Something I was doing was working :-)

My contractions were steady at 40 seconds long every 8 minutes. Sunday night the contractions stopped only to start again the next morning at about the same rate. That night they tapered again but still stayed with me. That morning, the 29th, I had an appointment with the Midwives at Magee for a BPB ultrasound and followup. The ultrasound looked great so baby was in good shape. The midwife, M, saw me and said that I was 3 centimeters dilated and asked if I wanted her to sweep my membranes to get things moving. She did and shortly after started getting stronger contractions, though still at about the same rate. My husband and I walked around the hospital, ate a good sized lunch, and then felt like it was time to admit myself to triage since the pain was strong enough for me to not want to leave. My lay midwife was called in (under the title of my doula) and she, my husband and I waited in the labor room for things to progress. My body was feeling the pain, but it was nothing overwhelming. And then about 3 hours of the same pattern of contractions, the nurse midwife offered to break my sack of water, which I agree to. Immediately, my body went into full transition labor and stayed there for about an hour. It was so painful that I felt like dying, but my lay midwife kept telling me to not give into the fear, to ride the wave and to stay on top of the pain. It could not conquer me, ESP after all I had done to get to this point. It was really a battle between my mind and my body and I had to not let my mind be controlled by that pain, but had to just let the two work together. 

Once I felt the urge to push things really went quickly and within 2 minutes I went from 7 to 10 centimeters and felt my baby coming. Five minutes after that, her head had descended, but she was in distress so they rushed a team of doctors in to prepare to take me for a section and started giving me oxygen, however the midwife told me to push hard to get her out since she was so close to coming out. I pushed with everything I had in me and soon enough, my baby was born! Her apgar was very low so they had to resuscitate her and  i started hemorrhaging  from a severe vaginal and 4 centimeter long  cervical tear. They had to rush me to the OR to start stitching me up, but thankfully it was nothing that would have any permanent damage. They had never seen a tear that bad before and couldn't figure out why it happened, but in the end i was still happy because I had her naturally.  Not the ideal labor, but who ever gets that anyway, right?

So that's my story and I  pray it gives some hope to those of you who are struggling to believe a vbac is possible for you. So many people doubted this could happen and yet, with the right physical and emotional support, along with keeping a positive outlook and praying for God`s help, I got what I wanted. It's so cool to think that I have blazed the trail for other mothers who want to vba2c as well as provide new hope for those who have had dehiscence. All things are possible if you believe! 

Here we go again: a recap of the last three months

My gosh it's been some time since I've been on this thing. OK so since my last post I've had another sweet little baby and she is such a joy! I love her to pieces- she is truly precious and such a good baby. Really I'm not exaggerating. And praise God I even had my natural delivery. I will post a copy of my vbac success story after I write this for those interested. It was such an emotional journey and I fought tooth and nail to get things right with the help of an excellent home birth midwife. But anyway, I don't want to spend a ton of time going into all that. For now I will discuss what has happened to me post partum since that is also when all my mysterious maladies started with my DS. About three months almost to the day from having both my second and now third child, my body started acting up. Ugh. So here's the scoop....

It all began when I got these shooting pains through my breasts between nursings. It felt like a horrible sharp needle going through my chest on both sides. I went to my midwives at the hospital, the ones who delivered my baby girl, and they took a sample of my breast milk to check for yeast, but it all came back normal. However, the pain continued. No one knew what it was and said I had to keep wearing supportive bras. And I was! So no answers there to this day. Then at the beginning of August I got this  terrible rash all over my back, chest, armpits, groin and shoulders. It was a red, blistery like rash that first started under my breast when I started exercising more. I love Spotify and listen to it to get me in the mood to dance this baby fat off. Well, after dancing for a bit and doing my rather intense pilates, I saw this rash and I figured it was heat related, but when it spread all over my torso and got very itchy I started to wonder. I called my home birth  mw and asked her for advice and she said to put corn starch on it (talc powder is bad if inhaled) which I did and that helped for a brief space of time, and then it started to get itchy again. After days of no success ridding it, I went to the Medexpress and they said it was contact dermatitis. What the heck! She said that I was exposed to something new in my environment causing it, even though there was nothing new that I was aware of. She prescribed a steroid/nystatin cream to put on it. I applied it for about 5 days and no more since she said not to let it get in my system given I was nursing. And hurrah, lo and behold, it did go away! I diagnosed it as a yeast infection since that is what it compared to most with the pictures I saw on line, even though she said otherwise. Honestly, what else would spread like that, if not yeast? Oh, it's funny the things I spend my time looking at these days- things I never would have dreamed of when I was young, but then again,  never did I expect my body would have some many damn issues. Anyhow I digress.  So I was good to go with the rash soon disappearing. There was some emotional stuff going on at the time so it's possible that might have rocked my immune system, much like what happened in August 2010. It's my theory, and I think my midwife would agree, that the psyche greatly impacts the body so if I the former is off, the latter will be too.

Moving on then. So the rash came and went. Things were good again, so I thought. A few days after it left me, I started getting nauseous and actually threw up about four times. Where in the world that came from I have no idea. No one was sick so it wasn't viral and I didn't think I was prego so big puzzle there. But then I woke up one morning to this horrible case of vertigo and dizziness (yes, I know they are different and I did have both). When I would walk forward the room would go up and down as though I were walking on water. Then this sense of buzzing in my head came and would not leave me, which was accompanied by throbbing headaches on the sides of my head, near the temples.  I felt like screaming! But I couldn't because I was trying so hard to maintain a sense of peace and order with the children even though inside I was falling apart. I just wanted to yell, "Why am I getting all these weird symptoms so freaking much?!:" I took it easy all day taking care of the three kiddies. Later that day, believe it or not, I got yet another symptom. This time it was tingling feet, legs, arms and hands. It felt like a cold sensation in those areas, though mostly just on my right side, with a numbness similar to what you'd feel when you're body is "falling asleep". While not crippling it was concerning.  The extreme sense of moving up and down as I walked ceased, however I didn't want to ignore what was happening to me so I called my awesome new chiropractor to make an app. He adjusted me and said that my left cortex was weak and recommended I stimulate it my tapping my right side's feet and fingers, smell perfume in my left nostril, and put a vibrator on my right foot and hand to stimulate the nerve endings so to wake up the left side of the brain.  He also said I needed to do cross word puzzles or other mind stimulating games. That wasn't quite what I was expecting him to tell me, however, I tried it and it did little to help.

Then when I am really desperate, where do I turn for help? Facebook and that's what I did.

There is a priest friend of my husbands who also had a lot of mysterious health issues and thought it might be good to touch base with him. (Plus, I could always use the extra prayers even should he not know how to help me.) I found out that he was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and suffered a lot after experiencing a lot of stress. Well, then, it became clear to me that indeed, stress was most likely the source of all this crap. But given I couldn't rid myself of my responsibilities what was I to do? God has given me three children to care for and a husband who I don't always understand, so what was I to do to change my circumstances? Nothing. All I can do is hold on for dear life and pray that I survive.

Now if I  may deviate for a moment:

As I sit hear, I'm listening to Josh Groban's "You are loved" and I remember the first time I heard it- I was a college student at Dayton and we had just entered into the Lenten season. This song made me cry. All I could think of was Christ speaking to me and telling me how He loves me and wants to help me. How ironic that it plays as I write this post. I know I voice my complaints a lot on here because, well, I need a healthy place to do that, but in my heart I know that God is aware of everything I am suffering and is there wanting and waiting to strengthen me. I am not so despondent as to forget that there is happiness after all of this should I suffer this like a good servant. It's just that I wonder if I am not suffering this to help someone else who is struggling to make sense of their singularly bizarre health issues. I don't know, but regardless I need this outlet to express what I'm going through so that I don't lose my mind because some days I worry.

OK deviation over. Back to my original rant.

Alright, so after posting a status about my health how stress can kill I got an interesting reply from the wife of a friend of mine, who also had some post-partum quirkiness  (depression, numbness, weight gain) and advised I look into the paleo diet plan. At first I was skeptical since I was on the candida diet which was next to impossible, and felt like this was not for me, but when I read that they allow you to eat fruit, I was much more open to the idea. Basically, the paleo diet comes from the idea that if we eat like out paleozoic ancestors, our bodies will perform optimally since those foods are what our bodies are made to consume and not any of the processed, or genetically/mechanically modified foods. Whatever. I heard that breastfeeding moms were trying it and having good results so it was safe for me and I thought to give it a go. Well, I am now 5 days strong and I have to say, it has helped! My vertigo is gone, the headaches, the nausea are all gone! The one thing that has yet to go is the tingling hands and feet, but I'm working on that.

I made an appointment to see a local alternative medicine doctor who was offering free consults and he said that all my issues could be pointed back to my pancreas. Given my Dad has type 2 Diabetes I wanted to be sure that there wasn't some of that hitting me. The next day I called my PCP and asked to have a script sent to Quest to have a CBC and Thyroid test done to see if everything was ok. As was expected, all was good. So per the advice of my Mom, I had an appointment with a local endocrinologist to see if she thought I was having early signs of diabetes. That was yesterday, and the doc said she didn't think it likely, but drew some blood to be sure. Tomorrow I go to see a rheumatologist to check for anything autoimmune related. Please God this is just a passing thing and I'll be back to normal soon enough. God's will be done. More importantly, I have to work on bringing balance into my life. Like Mr. Miagi says, "Got to learn balance. Balance is key.  Balance is good..."While I'm no Buddhist, I do think there is something right in that. It's when my life is out of balance that all else goes to pot. So Mr. Miagi, following your advice, here's my next step, take karate!  ;-) Well, not really, just aerobic dance and start getting back to doing the things I love. Being a mom doesn't mean not being me, just being a better me for those I love, but that means making sure I have time for myself too. So we'll see how things go next week. So for now, ciao!

PS- Please feel free to post your own experiences on here. I would love to share notes!

Into the 3rd Trimester Review

So now I'm actually into the 3rd trimester and I feel like I need to keep up with what's going on since this begins the crucial period when things can start to go wrong. Backtracking a bit, I did have some serious fatigue hit me around the middle of February. I went to visit a new chiropractor who does muscle testing through monitoring your body's reaction to certain chemical within it energy field. Anyway, the last time I saw him, he adjusted every part of my body (or so it seemed) and when I drove home from my visit, I felt this heavy lethargy hit me. This feeling did not leave me for at least a week or so. I went to the hospital the next Sunday to be sure I was ok because I could hardly get out of bed and that was very unlike me. All the tests the midwives took were normal and they suggested it was only a virus that needed to pass through me. Thankfully whatever it was did, however, three days later (Wed of that week) I woke up at night with severe vertigo which brought back my nausea and vomiting to a violent degree. I was dry heaving stomach acid- it was aweful. It only happened when I lay down though. The next day I went to an ENT and he told me it was benign paroxysmal vertigo and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was the same thing I had last year around this time of year. No reason for it, it just came and went. Scary crap though. It gets your whole system into panic mode and there is nothing you can do really stop it. Even sitting up didn't take it away. I credit the cure to God since He knew I was unable to function with it and I had no one to really help me. So thanks God!
After that dramatic episode, things calmed down some, save the heartburn, but that's normal for where I'm at in the pregnancy. The only downside to it is that I am still throwing up. I have to avoid eating certain foods and eating too much at one sitting since that also triggers my symptoms.
I have gotten in touch with a vbac support group in the area called ICAN. They're having a meetup group in a couple weeks and I hope to go to meet those other women who want what I want - a natural delivery. I have spoken with a couple of them on the phone already and was happy to hear that they were able to successfully vbac even after 2 sections. But as my midwife says, I have a lot to heal in me before things can happen- she was referring to the psychological hurts that I still carry with me. But with God all things are possible and even though I don't know that I'll ever be 100% healed from my past scars, I do believe that I can live a healthy lifestyle. I know my life has been harder than most people would ever imagine, but that's why I'm getting both psychological and spiritual help.
Anyhow, today I went to my midwife appointment and everything with the baby looked fine. It's heartbeat was 154 and I am measuring at 30". The one thing that caused some alarm was the fact that they saw I had sugar in my urine. They asked me if I has eaten anything really sweet for breakfast and I hadn't- only a bowl of rice chex with some rice milk and half a banana. I took my standard process Catalyn supplements along with some calcium magnesium, but that was it. So now I am going to try and keep myself off all unnecessary sugars and carbs. Althought he midwife said that it was no cause for alarm this time, I still feel like I should alter my diet to prevent any potential issues. My glucose test came back normal from last month so they don't think that's what I have, but it's still a bad sign for me.
Well, Tom just got back from work and I need to eat supper so for now, tata! 

My Saga Part 2

So I decided that after having the whole dramatized experience with the docs who told me that the wouldn't perform a vbac on me, I felt that I needed to research more of my options and nor rely on the medical system to help me get what's best for me or my baby. After having spoken with the doula, I went online to lookup various websites that supported women in their desire for a vbac. I came across some incredible youtube videos that followed the personal journey of women like myself who had has two c-sections and then attempted a vbac, though mostly hbac's or home birth after c-section. They were so powerful that I really felt inspired to try and do everything in my power to see that I get that experience for myself.
So the first thing I did was call the midwife that the doula referenced me to. After I called her up, we spoke at length about all the many issues I'd been facing during my pregnancy and asked if she would be open to helping me. She was the most helpful person and invited me to call her at any point for answers to whatever questions I had. I made a point to say that I wasn't sure I wanted a home birth, but that I wasn't against the idea either. She respected that I was still on the fence and wanted me to be informed about whatever I chose for myself. It was great to hear someone so encouraging and positive about the possibility that I might actually have a natural birth and to not be afraid of it.
Anyhow, I went back and forth with this midwife and she gave me the name of a chiropractor about 45 minutes north of me who worked doing some very bizarre cranio adjustments called N.O.T. chiropractics. It is said to be effective in treating women who are infertile and also correcting dyslexia. She thought that if anyone could pinpoint why I haven't been able to labor at all, it would be him.
So I made an appointment with him just before Christmas. I called my insurance to make sure he was within network and they told me he was so long as he participated in the local PPO program. When I called and spoke with the secretary she told me they did, so I figured great, he is insured. Anyhow, I went over for my first appointment and he met with me for about 10 minutes. It was very short and sweet. He asked why I was there and I told him Ellen (midwife) referred me to help check my hormone levels, since that was what she suspected was the root of my problems. He did these strange tests on my arms and pushed down on my gall bladder, spleen, pancreas, just all over my abdominal area. He then put his hands in my mouth and started pressing hard on the roof of my mouth. It was over very quickly and afterwards he said that I had a sever hormone imbalance. Basically, he said that my sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system was very out of balance which as a result was not allowing my immune system to rest. Maybe that's why I have't had a cold in about two years, but have had a number of other odd issues? I asked him how it could be corrected and he said it would take my seeing him two times a week for 3 months for everything to go back to normal. My mouth nearly dropped as I had no idea it was that bad. He was not close at all to me and I had very little help to get baby sitters for the kids. It was not an ideal situation. I told him I would have to think about it, but did schedule another appointment for the following week.
The second visit I had to bring the kiddies. It's always annoying asking my m-i-l to come over so I just bundled them up and went. We arrived on time and went into the examination room. The kids were all over the place, but I had asked him ahead of time if it was ok to bring them and he said it was. Dominic esp liked going here since he likes to see new faces and be held by people. Anyhow, I had the kids crawling all over the place while he worked on me. It was rather funny actually. But I think the doc was not amused by their being there.He was very moody and had very little to say to me.
A couple days later I got a EOB from BCBS and it said that this chiro was not covered.and that I owed him $60. What the hell?! I thought. I was told that he was a participating PPO office. Well, I went back and forth with BC about how they told me he was in network and how now he wasn't. It was a royal pain dealing with them, because they said they had no record of them telling me that. Well, they did tell me that and I even called back to speak with a different staff member to check to see if he was, and she said YES! Two times I did this and they said yes, but whenever I called to question the amount they'd cover, they always said he was not covered. I hate insurance companies!
So after I discovered that this chiro was not going to be covered by my insurance, I realized that I couldn't go back to him. In a way I was relieved since I didn't like him as a person anyway, but felt that he was my only hope for correcting my hormones. Well, I called up Ellen and explained what was going on. She told me she had another chiro who could help me and who was actually closer to me than this last guy. That was a huge relief because I didn't know what I was going to do. She made it seem like if things weren't corrected, that my chances of vbacing were slim.
Aftet I got the name of this second chiro, I called them directly to ask about insurance coverage and they said they did accept BCBS PPO. Thank God! We then went ahead and made an appointment for later this month. In the meantime,. I had Ellen come over our house since I really needed to meet her and get to know her better. Tom and I had lot of questions we wanted answered if we were even going to consider having a homebirth. Amazingly, Tom supported the idea if it was what I wanted and if it was safe for the baby. At that point, I still wasn't sure so meeting with Ellen was really essential.
We had her over our place at about 7pm and she arrived a little after. She came in and was full of energy and life. The kids loved having her over and did what they could to get her attention. She received them very well and yet, made sure she put speaking to me first. She is older, around 55-60 and has been doing hb's for 25 years. That gave me more confidence in her for sure. We went through the litany of questions I had printed out and she answered them all well and with a lot of additional information to boot. It was great to have her there. She was so motherly and loving and yet firm which is good for people like me. I admire her love for giving women what's best for them and for believing in a woman's right to choose what she wants for her birth.
Tom and I sat with her for aver 3 hours and in the end felt very confident that she was someone we wanted to work with. For now, I have Maria here as she just came down from her nap and I need to change her stinky winky diaper. So for now, this will need to be continued...

The Last 6 Months Saga part 1

So, it's been sometime since I've updated this blog and I regret that I haven't as so much has occurred since last I wrote. For starters, two weeks after I had surgery I got pregnant, and am now 21 weeks along. The issues that arose due to the surgery seemed to have waned, but of course those due to pregnancy came with full force to replace the others. For starters, I got a very bizarre rash all over my abdomen. I wasn't sure if it was due to my surgery as I read that sometimes the glue they use to sew the scar can cause a reaction, however this rash was really bad and didn't sound like it was from that. It went away in time thank God and didn't come back. The itchy skin I had formerly experienced from last year did come back in October and I was suspicious if I didn't have bugs in the house or some other pest because I was going nuts itchy all the time. I'm beginning to wonder if I don't have sever fall allergies to whatever pollens are in the air and as a result, cause me to get these very weird skin reactions. No one else in the house has the itchiness that I get, so I am not inclined to believe that it's bug related. But then I thought that it might be from my candida. Given that I am pregnant, I could not stay on the candida diet that Dr. Ericson had me on, and he advised I not be on it as well actually, so I ate a lot more carbs to keep me going. My energy levels fells dramatically and I was more tired than I had been since my last pregnancy. The worst symptom I experienced being pregnant though, was the nausea and vomiting. This time around, I threw up not during the morning so much as in the late evening and night. It was as though a surge of energy came flush into my face and forced me to hurl everything that was within me. I'd never felt anything like it before- it came so unexpectedly and made it harder especially when I wasn't in a good location to vomit. Most of the time I was fine since I rarely left the house, but I was also sick longer this pregnancy than with the last two which I couldn't figure out. Like I said to my friend Julia, if this baby isn't a girl, than I have no hope of having an easy pregnancy. 
My mood was not bad all in all, though like always, my husband and I had our occasional bouts. My children kept me distracted and I loved being there to play and watch them grow, but mostly I just loved holding them and rocking them while I say songs. I know these days with two are slowly coming to a close, so I've wanted to make the most of this time with Maria and Dominic. People tell me three kids is the hardest, and right now, that's not something I can even fathom so I'm taking it one day at a time.
This pregnancy I returned to my former obgyn (the one who delivered Dominic) and stayed with them for about three months. I had an ultrasound performed at about 10 weeks to check the gestational age because the docs didn't believe me when I told them how old the baby was. Apparently I looked larger than normal, however I was using my iphone's iperiod app to track all temps, period, sexual interactions, etc. So I knew the exact day that I conceived from. It was the last week of August and I remember thinking that that was a very bad time to be having relations. In fact, we were looking at a little butterfly struggling to fly on our patio when he started making advances. Apparently, I brushed my hand across his bum in such a way that he took that to me I was interested-lol. The things men think amazes me!Anyway, they did an ultrasound on me and saw that I had a sack of blood next to the baby. They weren't sure what it was so I had to go back in a few weeks to have it done again. I was on my way to Las Vegas the week after so it was crucial I check to see if it was a hemmorage or just attachment bleeding. Fortunately there was nothing there the second scan so it was fine. It was so neat seeing my little baby looking so much bigger the second time around. I was giddy looking at him/her. Tom and I decided not to find out what the sex is because we really don't need to and it's more exciting not knowing I think.
So after I got back from Vegas, I started thinking more about my options to vbac since this is crucial for me and I want it more than anything. Having asked my obgyn what they thought (not very favorable), and considering the fact that the one doc I transferred there for was going on sabbatical, I thought it might be a good time to look into transferring practices to a more favorable vbac practice.
I called around to a few places and spoke with the secretary about my desire to vbac and asked if their doctors were favorable to people like myself. There was one office very nearby who said yes and hence I called over to Gynob to have all my records transferred. However, once I went to my first appointment and spoke with the doctor, expressing my desire to go naturally, he told me that I would only be allowed to wait until 39 weeks and then they would make me schedule a routine section. The only way he would support my going naturally past that, would be to have a high risk pregnancy specialist agree to it, but that would require my sitting down and pleading my case at another office in the city and I felt this was not cool. Why should I have to defend my desires when everything I had read up to that point showed that the risk for rupturing was so low and there was little reason for me to have to undergo all of this to get a natural labor.  Plus the nurse at this practice was so pushy and challenged me on most everything I told her I wanted. She was not anyone I wanted to work with and knew it was time to get out of there.
I didn't know where to turn at this point  and prayed about what to do. It came to mind that I should try contacting the Pittsburgh doulas to see what they recommended since I trusted them to work to defend my choice for a vbac. Beth and I spoke at length and she gave me numbers of people who had tried to vbac as well as references to docs in the area. The one name she gave me was one of a lay midwife who performed home births. I didn't think I'd have much to do with her, but as you'll soon discover, she actually has been more significant to me than one would imagine.